In 2014 I had an emergency c section, huge shock after a plain sailing easy pregnancy. Now this is a difficult post to write as it has taken me this long to come to terms with the fact that I had to have a section and never 'gave birth', obviously a section is still giving birth just not in the natural way and I am still a mummy, thank god, to my beautiful son.
My pregnancy was great, no sickness or any real dramas. I worked until 8 months, as a early years practitioner so was full on. Now when it comes to the due date I was never going to get that far 'all the babies in our family are early', myself included born twelve weeks early at a mere 2lbs 1oz. So due date came and went, three 'sweeps' still no baby.
Okay so I'm booked in to be induced on my husbands birthday, fun day ahead. No baby. I'm induced a further three times...still no baby, 'tomorrow we will break your waters' (with the biggest crochet hook I have ever seen, slightly worried now).
As a nervous wimp I lay in hospital watching all the other ladies coming in to be induced and whisked away to the delivery department, feeling like Rachel from friends but far less glamorous. All I can hear is the screams especially at night and I'm filled with terror.
Next morning comes and so does the lovely consultant. After having a feel around down there, 'I'm sorry you have still only dilated 2 cm, emergency c-section now'. Those words, how did this happen a section was never on the cards, now I'm really scared, how can I be awake while they pull the baby from my insides!! And I've sent my husband back to work, 'don't worry dear, the baby is still not coming, you'll have time to go to work'. luckily my mum was to hand.
So they come around with all the legal bits and forms to fill in and prep me, or scare the life out of me even more, and I'm off. As I sit in theatre on the bed bent over at the prefect position so they can get the needle into my back, I have no idea what to think or feel. So I cry like a baby myself.
The operation is really quick and before I knew it I feel like someone is washing up in my belly and now they are holding up a beautiful bundle of joy. Mum is crying, being the doting nonna that she is and I'm confused and having a strange reaction to the anaesthetic, I've got the shakes like never before ' does mum want a cuddle with baby?' actually I'm laid flat with machines beeping and I can feel you tugging around inside me and I'm shaking so uncontrollably that no I don't want a cuddle I'm too scared I'm going to drop my baby! 'oh mum you are lucky to have had a c section he's 9lb 14oz, what a big boy'. Lucky, Lucky oh yes I am.
After being stitched up I'm wheeled round to recovery where my baby and mum are waiting for me. Dad is on the way, thank god he wasn't there, he would never have coped.
'would mum like some morphine now?' hell yes please.
I wont bore you with the horrific night in hospital or the huge row with the in laws that happened, this is a whole other story yet to come, the in laws or now ex....however I am sent home 14 hours after my section.
Again in laws not helping and my recovery does not start well. Hubby was straight back to work, needs must. Mum calls in every night to jab with with my blood thinning injection, its only for a week, phew. The huge safety plaster comes off my wound and now I feel vulnerable especially as the Midwife tells me the wound is slightly open and to keep it clean and dry. Okay I really will try to.
After a week of keeping a my wound clean and dry I end back in hospital with a serve infection and a major open wound, they talked about more surgery but luckily they managed a pack the wound. And now daily for the next six weeks I have to have a nurse in to clean and re dress/pack my wound. not fun. Although the nights waking up with my wound leaking and trying to get my husband or mum to patch it up with plasters until the nurses arrive was fairly entertaining.
I see other mums have their babies and be up and walking around as normal and I had weeks of trauma and not the best start to parenthood. By the time I could get out, my chunky monkey had out grown the carry cot to his silver cross only being in it twice.
Would I do it again, of course I would but hey id try the natural way of course, but another section, I would if I really had to but definitely not by choice...........
This is when we get to 2018 and baby number two, I'm having a VBAC, vaginal birth after c section, yes this is my chance to give birth, I'm scared but after some great birthing stories from my friends I'm going to do it naturally!
After a scary start to the pregnancy with early bleeding and a rocky relationship, he left the three of us when my daughter was two weeks old, it takes a long time to accept that she is doing well and I'm going to have a baby girl, but I'm doing it right this time a proper birth! So due date comes and goes two 'sweeps' and still no baby and then the consultant comes round....I knew it c section...again.
Although this time a planned elective c section. Mum and I arrive at the hospital bright and early two days later and its quite exciting, I get to meet the midwife, nurses and the all the medical team that will be in theatre with me, would I like any particular music? Any comforts or even just a cuddle. This is much nicer and I'm happy and excited. I knew what to expect and only had a little cry as I get into theatre and in position!
I have a good c section no shakes this time but I do have some funny reactions, an unbelievably itchy nose but Barny, the anaesthetist, adds some meds into my drip and I'm fine and then trying to be sick but couldn't, now this did scare me a little as I could feel them in my tummy whilst I am retching, but not to worry Barny had some meds for that too! All is going well, she was so far down that they needed forceps to pull her out, she wanted to come out naturally too!
I look at the time so close my son 11.19 and my daughter 11.22! And another chunky monkey 9lb 8oz.
I have an amazing recovery second time around and have 48 hours in hospital after and more checks from midwives to make sure I don't have the same problems as the first time. This time I have to do my blood thinning injections into my tummy, myself.... So here I go, and its not actually that bad, I can be brave! I'm up and about much quicker than the first time and back in the car after five weeks.
Two c sections and both completely different my emergency was horrendous but my planned was actually OK. If I ever have any more children they will now have to be c sections, no choice, but they would be planned, hopefully.
C-Section the easy way out....never.