Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Married to a Narcissist

                                      Image credit pinterest

After a seven year relationship we seperated,  (I'm not perfect and there were many reasons our relationship ended), now looking back at what went wrong and why, I have realised that my husband is a narcissist. I have read many websites on signs, descriptions and narcissistic relationships and yes my husband is most definitely a narcissist.

How have I only just realised and why did no one point it out? Ah ha because this is the narcissits way to make you feel rubbish and that it is all your fault. To make you feel worthless and useless. In the seven years we were together I lost all my friends, confidence, life and put on an incredible amount of weight. I stopped going out, stopped talking to people thinking everyone was judging me.

My husband (soon to be ex husband) always blames everyone for everything that goes wrong, this was always his family or me. He gets very worked up if an event goes wrong, our wedding he will still complain about to this day. He is horrendous with money and has a huge debt. He is addicted and lives in a fantasy world, not a usual liking but a complete unhealthy obession. He cannot accept blame for anything and will find blame somewhere else, usually he will blame me, his family or his dyslexia. He would never compliment me unless my mum was around to hear. He would blame any relationship issues we had on his family or my depression. If I was to ever try to talk about anything I would be picking on him and trying to cause an argument, in the beginning he would also seem to convince my mum that I was always picking on at him. When mum said something I would believe her and then I would blame myself too. Mum soon became wise to his ways, but for me it took much longer as the damage was done. Borrowing...money, tools anything he would borrow and never repay, why? Because he would find an accuse or blame in order to never payback I just find this rude. Speaking of rude he would criticise and seem to forget his manners all the time, and as I would be embarrassed I'd find myself apologising and making excuses for him. Greed and paranoia would often take over especially when at my mum's house, he would withdraw himself and think we were all talking about him and trying to upset him. 

There are many other points I could list but these are the main ones. He is now continuing to blame everyone for everything but is getting on with his perfect single life and good luck to him. For me I will find it hard to trust, love and have another relationship...but at the moment that is the last thing on my mind my children and I are happy and that's all that matters. The old me is in there somewhere and very slowly coming back. 

                                      Image credit pinterest 

No comments:

Post a Comment

A letter to the younger me

Over the years and my time having therapy they have always advised on writing letters to help me clear my head. I wrote a letter to my s...